Time Get Tough

Emotionally, there are times when you just need your spouse. Right now I do, but I don't have him. There are far too many little things that keep popping up in my life, that make me want to pull my hair out. Not just that our little one isn't behaving well. It seems like every here I turn, something else is trying to drive me insane. My oldest daughter's school is a joke. I get so frustrated with them, and things that go on there. Today, I wanted to jump up and beat a mother down for the way she was acting toward her daughter, and our entire Girl Scout troop. My best friend has formally got engaged yesterday, and is getting married in 5 weeks. She wants me to come in and be her matron of honor, at great financial burden to our family. The friggin' headlight on my car went out. My husband's mom called to say his grandmother isn't doing well, and is in the hospital again. So much more, but you get the idea.

I need someone to hug me, and tell me we will get through it all, and things will be ok, but he isn't here. This is when it is hard. Were only a week in, and already, my stress level is ridiculous. It isn't as though we could have planned for this stuff. And it isn't as though her could magically fix things if he were here, but he would make me feel better.

I know we will get through it. I know we will all survive, but that doesn't make it any easier to be happy right now. I'll just have to settle for the fact that I know he is out there, somewhere, missing me as much as I miss him, and that he would do anything he could to make it better, if he were here. I know I am loved, no matter where he is...

Is it too cheesy to post this?


Right now, it helps me. I hope it helps someone else feel better, too.

Last Hurrah

Last night I went out with some friends. I decided that I wanted just one night before my husband leaves where I can go out, and not worry about a baby sitter, or when I come home. I wanted to be able to drink if I chose to, and just feel free one more time. IT was just a bunch of girls, going out to have a good time, while one of them still could.

In fact, the more I thought about it, it kind of felt like a bachelorette party, but instead of getting married after, I am effectively going to become a single parent after. Not nearly as much fun afterward, but it is the same sort of thing.

WE had a great time. WE went to a really nice place in La Jolla. The restaurant was on the 11th floor of a hotel and the view looked over the water. WE went in time to see the sunset, which was beautiful. It was also happy hour, so we got some incredible, and I mean incredible food at a great price. I would love to go back one day. Maybe sometime after my husband comes home I can take him there on a date. That would be fantastic.

After dinner we went to a movie. Movies in general aren't my thing, but it was spontaneous and fun. The girls wanted to, and I agreed to go along with it. The movie didn't really matter. Just being with friends was all I cared about.

These are the same friends that I expect to lean on a lot during the next year or so of my life. I know that they will be there when I need them, and even when I don't. That's what real friends are for. I am thankful that they are in my life.

We had a great time. I look forward to more great times, even if it means that I will have to be home a little earlier, and plan my activities a little more. It will still be fun, and I will still be hanging with my girls.